


There's a garden (In my lungs)

by minguris



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, a little fluff bc cute moments, let's get this angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 22:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20553449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minguris/pseuds/minguris
Summary: Hitomi has always loved flowers ever since she was a young child and working part-time at a nearby flower shop only fueled her love for the beautiful creations. She thought they were so beautiful, so different in their own way.She would be able to appreciate their beauty in her teenage years more if they weren't coming from her lungs.





	There's a garden (In my lungs)

When Hitomi was three, she began picking sunflowers from her neighbor's front garden to give to her parents and older siblings as daily gifts. With a large smile on her adorable chubby toddler face, she held each flower out in her hands, telling her parents they were free outside in Mrs. Kwon's garden.

Knowing well of what their child meant, her parents brought her next door to apologize personally.

=

When Hitomi was five, her mother brought her to a gardening shop in town to buy the things she would need to begin her own garden in the backyard. She was ecstatic, skipping from aisle to aisle to see what they could possibly add into their cart.

They stopped in front of the seed pack section, the child's bright brown eyes shining with happiness carefully scanned each flower pack to make the correct choice. A store attendant came up behind them, asking if they needed any help with their selection. The question prompted Hitomi to ramble on about how she wanted to plant happy flowers first in order to make everyone feel happy when they looked at her garden.

The store attendant chose two different flowers while the young child held a pack she chose tightly in her tiny hands. She was more than happy with her purchases and couldn't wait to get home to begin planting, running towards the door of the shop with the plastic bag in hand, not forgetting to turn back to wave to the person who helped her choose her happy flowers.

Sunflowers. Daises. Primroses.

=

When Hitomi was eight, she met a girl named Chaewon in the spring. Her parents bought her a brand new peach-colored bicycle as a gift for getting straight A's on her report card, promising to take her to the park on the weekend to learn how to ride it.

Mr. Honda geared his youngest daughter up with the protection she needed – A helmet that fit well and was decorated with cute bread stickers, elbow pads, knee pads, riding gloves (Her older brother, Mitsu, insisted. He wanted his sister to look like a cool motorcycle rider on her first time learning, hence why she was wearing his old leather jacket with black sunglasses to match.)

She carefully climbed onto her bike, placing her feet on the pedals while her father held the back of her bike seat to avoid wobbling. Gripping the handlebars firmly, she nodded her head, signaling she was ready. She began to pedal slowly to get the feel of it before nodding her head again, another signal for her father to release his hand from the bike seat. Following the signal, he let go.

The solo ride was going smoothly, passing by the first tree a few feet away from where her father was standing with no issues. Her parents and older siblings cheered from their standing places, each of them yelling she was doing an amazing job. Mitsu told her she could drop out of elementary school to become a professional motorcycle rider at this point, causing his mother to smack him playfully.

Beaming with pride, Hitomi made a fatal mistake of looking over her shoulder and taking one hand off the handlebars to wave to her family, a large smile on her face, eyes turning into crescent moons. With all the weight now on the right side of her bike, she lost her balance and fell into a flower patch, the bike discarded to the side.

She stayed on the ground for a few seconds with her eyes focused on the clouds above, enjoying the breeze and the flowers tickling her cheeks until the view of the clouds were suddenly blocked by a girl wearing a mint-colored helmet.

“Are you alright? You look like you fell pretty hard.” The girl standing over Hitomi commented, crouching down beside her soon after.

Hitomi turned her head to look at the person, letting her gaze linger longer than she intended. The girl was slightly taller with straight black hair, bright brown eyes and chubby cheeks that could rival hers. She wanted to reach over and pinch them, but refrained.

“Am I in heaven?” Hitomi questioned, a hint of adoration in her voice.

The girl looked down, a small giggle escaping her lips. “No, silly. You landed in some kind of flower patch!” She extended a hand out, in which Hitomi gratefully took and lifted herself from the ground with the help of the angel-like girl, her cheeks a light hue of pink.

Her family ran up to her and began patting her body at once to check for any broken bones or scrapes. Deciding to be mischievous, Mitsu knocked on her helmet with his fist, asking if she hit her head when she fell. Their older sister smacked him on the back of his head, scolding him for his actions in case their younger sister really did hit her head. Their parents asked if anything on her body was hurting, turning to each other to ask if they should take their youngest daughter to the hospital to be safe.

Hitomi pouted in embarrassment, her cheeks turning bright red. “I didn't get hurt and I don't need to go to the hospital! My new friend helped me up, I'm okay!” Her parents turned their full attention to a girl who looked around their own child's age, thanking the young girl countless times for helping clumsy Hitomi get out of the patch of flowers she fell into.

“I'm Chaewon, by the way!”

“I'm Hitomi, but you can call me Hii-chan!”

After their formal introductions to one another, Hitomi's mother thought it would be a great idea for the children to learn how to ride their bikes together. Loving the idea, Chaewon ran off happily to grab her parents to introduce them to the Honda family in hopes she could see her new friend more often if their parents were friends as well.

While Chaewon ran off to bring her parents over, Hitomi looked down to see what kind of flower patch she managed to land herself in.

Yellow daffodils.

=

When Hitomi was ten, she and Chaewon began to have their weekend sleepovers. With their parents' permission, one of them would go to the other's house for the entire weekend, only leaving on Sunday evening after dinner due to the fact they didn't want to be separated for too long.

Their parents told them not being by each other's side for one day wasn't going to hurt them. The kids retaliated with: “She's my best friend. We always need to be with each other!”

=

When Hitomi was thirteen, she began feeling weird whenever she was around Chaewon. During one of their routine sleepovers at her house, they cuddled up in her bed with two warm fluffy blankets Chaewon seemed to love and put the Disney movie of the older girl's choice into the DVD player.

Engrossed in the movie, they reached into the large bowl of popcorn set in between them, fingers accidentally brushing. Hitomi gasped quietly, looking down at their hands before sneaking a glance over at Chaewon who kept her eyes glued to the television screen in front of them, completely oblivious to her friend's internal situation.

She could feel her cheeks heating up involuntarily, her heart beating faster as the seconds go by. Her older sister would joke about there being a possibility the two friends would develop feelings for each other when they got older, saying they were constantly together, so it would make perfect sense.

There was no way she had feelings for Chaewon, right? It was impossible to have feelings for her best friend.

Chaewon glanced over at the girl sitting next to her, eyes moving downwards to see what Hitomi was staring at. She shook her head slightly with a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “Aw, is Hii-chan embarrassed from our hands touching?” She teased.

“S-Shut up! That isn't the reason, so don't flatter yourself too much, Chaewonie!” Hitomi quickly removed her hand from the popcorn bowl, pulling the blanket up to her face in a desperate attempt to cover her blushing cheeks. Grabbing the popcorn bowl, Chaewon leaned to the side to place it on the table next to the bed and scooted back to her original spot, pulling Hitomi towards her despite the whines and protests. With a cute pout, Hitomi cuddled up to Chaewon's side.

Chaewon smiled, grabbing the younger girl's hand and intertwining their fingers afterwards.

“Let's stay like this for a while.” Chaewon mumbled shyly.

Hitomi obliged.

Maybe it wasn't so impossible as she thought. Maybe she did have feelings for Chaewon.

=

When Hitomi was fourteen, she got a part-time job working at a nearby flower shop.

Hitomi took a deep breath before pushing the door open, the bell attached to the top of the door ringing to announce her arrival. She stepped inside slowly, letting the door close behind her, looking around to take everything in.

The shop was medium-sized with plain white walls, brown shelves mounted to the wall to hold the materials the workers would need to finish their jobs quickly, decorations along the other shelves to give off an elegant look. To the left was a small stereo system playing Korean indie music through the speakers, different types of flowers and plants surrounding the small area.

She smiled, feeling a sudden wave of accomplishment wash over her. One of her childhood dreams were to work in a flower shop to use her knowledge for good use to help someone choose the perfect bouquet for a wedding gift or to help them choose a perfect bouquet for their loved one, maybe even helping someone choose the perfect flower to bring on their first date.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn't hear the bell!” A young girl said as she hopped over to where Hitomi was standing, a beaming smile on her face. “Are you the new part-timer? Mrs. Lee said there would be a new part-timer coming in today.”

“Ah, I am! My name is Honda Hitomi and I'm ready for my first day at work, nice to meet you.”

“Yabuki Nako at your service, quite literally.”

The owner of the shop, Mrs. Lee, walked in carrying a small bag a few minutes after the teenagers formally introduced themselves to one another. She greeted Nako happily, asking if everything was ready for opening, in which Nako nodded her head, hopping off to her spot behind the counter. Hitomi wondered if the smaller girl could reach the counter without a step stool, but decided against it to ask.

After switching the sign on the door to 'open,' Nako took it upon herself to give Hitomi a small tour around the shop. She started behind the counter, showing her how to operate the cash register, pointing to the plastic bags hooked to the wall next to them, settling into a conversation about how the vase orders ready for pick-up are placed in the yellow bags while small gift boxes and small flowers given as gifts are placed in the white bags.

Next on the tour was showing the new employee their work station. It was a simple long brown counter with countless materials – boxes on the side of the counter, scissors, tape, ribbons, yarn, black markers, newspaper, plain colored wrapping paper and tissue paper of assorted colors. Nako explained each material's usage in full detail, not forgetting to mention how there was more in the storage room if they ever run out on the counter.

Taking Hitomi's hand in hers, the small girl brought her over to what they liked to call 'the flower wall.' When Mrs. Lee first bought the shop, her husband mounted four pigeon hole cabinets with twenty holes each to the wall in the back upon his wife's request. The couple filled the first twenty holes up by themselves, opening their business together soon afterwards. After a few months of maintaining their business, they decided to look for employees to help out with the shop during spring season, putting up ads around the city and on the internet in hopes someone replied.

Someone replied within the first two days and that was how Nako joined the couple on their business journey. Once Nako joined, they were able to fill the rest of the holes with flowers with different meanings, each flower symbolizing something different. Nako often compared flowers to people - They were all different in their own way, none of them were ever the same.

The tour was interrupted with the bell to the door ringing to announce someone's arrival, leading to Nako promising to continue showing Hitomi around the shop on their break.

\- 

Mrs. Lee let the two teenagers go on break at the same time in order for them to chat and know each other more due to the fact they were going to be working with each other more often. She walked over to the door, switching the sign to 'on break,' telling the teenagers she will return in forty minutes when their break ends.

Nako failed to keep her promise of showing Hitomi around the shop, though she made it up to her in another way. They sat at a small fold-up square table in the middle of the shop with sandwiches Mrs. Lee brought for them and decided to play a random game of twenty questions (Nako insisted to make up for the broken promise.)

They learned they had a lot of shared hobbies and interests, flowers being the main interest between them, a conversation naturally blooming.

"So, what's your favorite flower?" Nako wondered, taking a bite of her ham sandwich.

Hitomi tilted her head in thought, eyes going straight to the flower wall at the back of the shop. "My favorite flower would definitely have to be sunflowers."

"Any particular reason why?"

"Sunflowers are known for being happy flowers because of their color, hence the reason why people often use them as a gift to bring joy to another person's day. Whenever I look at them, there's always a sense of happiness. I want to make other people feel the way I do when I look at sunflowers." Hitomi's voice was soft and warm, eyes sparkling with such happiness even Nako couldn't help but smile.

For Nako, there weren't many people around to have a conversation about flowers with. Most people she asked the favorite flower question to always gave her the same exact answer - Their favorite flower was a rose. When she pushed a bit further and questioned why, they waved it off, saying it was the only flower coming to mind or shrugging, saying 'just because.' For Nako, it was nice to be able to sit down to have a conversation about flowers with someone on the same wavelength.

"How about you?"

"Definitely Gladiolus."

"Is there any particular reason why?" Hitomi asked, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Nako tapped her chin, pretending to think. "The symbolization for Gladioli is strength. Whenever I'm stressed over school or going through a difficult time, I look at those flowers and get a sense of healing from them. It's like they're telling me to cheer up, everything is going to be alright." A smile appeared on Nako's face. "They also look like tiny swords, it's adorable."

The two girls erupted into a fit of giggles, their conversation switching from topic to topic after they got back to their game - Favorite books. Favorite movies. Favorite color. Favorite and least favorite food. Favorite ice cream flavor.

"Uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is what?"

"Mint chocolate chip!"

"Nako... That is absolutely disgusting."

"It is not! It's delicious!"

"It tastes like toothpaste." Hitomi deadpanned.

"You taste like toothpaste!"

Hitomi rolled her eyes, laughing at the lame insult the other used. Nako sat across the table, ham sandwich completely gone, her arms crossed firmly over her chest with her bottom lip jutting out, forming a tiny pout.

"I am never going out for ice cream with you." Hitomi commented.

"That's not fair! Let's go out for ice cream together sometime after work, I promise you don't have to get the so-called dreaded mint chocolate ice cream."

Hitomi agreed for the sole reason of not being forced to get the dreaded mint chocolate ice cream.

For the last question in their game, Nako said she wanted to end the game with a big bang, which was why she brought up the topic of crushes.

"Have you ever had a crush on anyone or do you have a crush now?"

With one person popping in Hitomi's mind, a small smile appeared on her lips without realizing it. That was when she knew there was no way to lie her way out of answering the quesion. "I have a crush on someone now." She confessed, a light red hue dusting across her cheeks.

Nako leaned forward on the table, resting her chin on her folded hands. "Do tell." She coaxed.

"The beginning of it all was when I met her at the park when I was eight after I fell into a patch of flowers and ever since then, we've been pretty much inseparable. Whenever I'm around her, my heart goes crazy like it's going to leap out of my chest at any minute, my palms get sweaty, I read our old text messages when I miss her, I think about the next time I'll be able to see her, even if I seen her an hour ago."Hitomi explained everything she felt when it came to Chaewon, not leaving a single detail out.

Nako hummed and took a sip of her milk. "Does she feel the same way?"

Hitomi simply shrugged. "I have no idea."

Someone pushed the door open, their head peeking from in between the door frame and the door itself. After noticing the two girls sitting in the middle of the shop, the person happily hopped over to them, a small white paper bag held in hand.

"Hey, you." The person called out, wrapping their arms around Hitomi from behind. Nako had her hand on the back of her chair, preparing to jump up and grab the bat behind the counter until Hitomi began to giggle, leaning into the other's arms.

"Chaewonie, what are you doing here?" Hitomi grabbed one of Chaewon's hands and intertwined their fingers without a second thought.

Chaewon smiled, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her friend's head. "I was on the way to the library with my friend to study when I decided to grab something for you to eat on your lunch break, though it seems like you already had something to eat, so make sure to keep it for later."

Hitomi tilted her head back with a bright smile on her face. "Thank you, I will save it for after work."

Chaewon gave her a smile in return and bent down to place a soft kiss on her forehead. "Anything for you. I have to go now since my friend is waiting outside, but I'll see you later for our sleepover."

She gave one last wave before walking out of the flower shop. With Chaewon out of sight, Hitomi is too shy to meet Nako's eyes after that, choosing to keep her eyes fixed on her hands now folded on top of the table.

Nako snorted. "You are so whipped."

Hitomi kicked the girl underneath the table playfully and stuck her tongue out at her.

-

During one of their homework sessions in Hitomi's room one afternoon after school, Chaewon suddenly brought up the conversation of her new friend.

"Hey, Hii-chan. Do you remember two weeks ago when I brought you bread from the bakery while you were on break and I said I was going to the library to study with a friend? Chaewon eased into the conversation.

Not looking up from her math homework, Hitomi hummed as a reply.

"Well, you're my best friend and you deserve to know how we met!"

Chaewon started from the beginning. Even though her new friend, Minjoo, was one year younger than her and the same age as Hitomi, they were in the same technology class together due to Minjoo being advanced in the subject. When the teacher was assigning students to computers to start the lesson, Chaewon ended up being assigned to the computer with a flashing broken screen. She groaned, hitting the spacebar over and over again, hoping it would stop flashing for her to follow along with the lesson.

Minjoo who sat next to her peeked over and noticed her problem before leaning over, asking if Chaewon wanted to switch computers with her. She told the older girl she has been dealing with that specific computer the first day she was transferred to the class and knew how to handle it well, aside from Chaewon who looked like she was two seconds away from smashing it to the ground. Hearing this, her cheeks and the tips of her ears turned red out of embarrassment. She switched computers with the younger girl to avoid any upcoming embarrassing moments.

The class went smoothly.

After class, Minjoo was packing up her things to go home when Chaewon stood beside her and asked if she was busy. Shaking her head, Minjoo informed she didn't have any club activities that day, which was why the only thing she was doing now was heading home. As a repayment for switching computers with her to avoid any computer smashing, Chaewon asked the girl if she wanted to go out for ice cream with her.

Raising an eyebrow with a playful smirk tugging at her lips, Minjoo asked if this was going to be their first date. Chaewon was frantic, her hands flailing in front of her as she tried to tell the other it wasn't a date, yet a simple thank you. Laughing at the cute upperclassmen in front of her, Minjoo pushed in her chair, agreeing with the ice cream not-date.

Chaewon concluded her story by stretching her arms over her head with a loud groan.

"I can't believe your bad luck with getting a broken computer, seriously." Hitomi giggled.

Chaewon huffed, stretching her body across the small wooden table the girls used for their homework. "Honestly, I can't believe it either. Thankfully Minjoo was there to save my ass or else it would have been a lot worse."

The room was quiet for a few moments, the only sounds being the turning of pages or scribbling noises coming from writing on their homework sheets. Chaewon was spinning the mechanical pencil absentmindely between her fingers, staring at the piece of paper in front of her as if everything would magically be written for her.

"Hey... Nothing is going to change now that you've met Minjoo, right?"

Hitomi's soft tone of voice broke Chaewon from her trance. Looking over and noticing her crestfallen expression, she wrapped her arms around Hitomi's shoulders, pulling the smaller girl towards her chest and leaned back, dragging Hitomi down to the floor with her, giggling uncontrollably.

Once their giggled subsided, they stared into each other's eyes.

Chaewon moved a piece of hair out of Hitomi's face, cupping her cheeks. "No matter who I meet, nothing is ever going to change between us, I promise. You will always be my best friend." She placed kisses on her both of her friend's cheeks, nose and forehead.

Their friendship was the same for a few months. Everything was normal, even with Minjoo joining them for lunch at times, but then, everything stopped. They stopped going to school together in the morning. They stopped walking home together in the afternoon. They stopped their routine weekend sleepovers. Chaewon always said she was busy throughout the week because of the new club she joined with Minjoo, apologizing countless times.

Hitomi always said it was fine, she understood.

=

When Hitomi was fourteen, Chaewon broke their promise.

=

When Hitomi was fifteen, Chaewon asked her what she thought of Minjoo during one of their study sessions at the library to prepare for their upcoming exams. Chaewon felt horrible for skipping out on their routine weekend sleepovers, hence the reason why she made it a habit to continue their studying sessions with one another when exam period rolled around, using it as time to spend together seeing as Chaewon was more busy with club activities this time of year while Hitomi was busy with her job at the flower shop.

Hitomi twirled the pencil around her fingers thoughtfully. "Minjoo seems like a good person. She's a really good friend to you and takes care of you well, why are you asking?"

Chaewon bites her bottom lip softly, hesitant about answering the question thrown her way. She plays with the corner of the page she left off on, eyes darting from the words on the page to Hitomi sitting across from her who looked at her with so much care in her brown eyes. Taking a deep breath, she decided it was best to just say it.

"I've been dating Minjoo for a few weeks now."

Hitomi blinked twice to make sure she was hearing correctly. Judging by Chaewon's shy demeanor, blushing cheeks and fidgety hands, she did, in fact, hear correctly.

Chaewon was dating Minjoo, huh.

Upon the realization of her friend's blank reaction, Chaewon quickly swooped in to explain herself, stuttering along the way.

Chaewon started from where it started. Ever since the day Minjoo swapped computers with her, they were starting to get close eith each other, often going out for ice cream after class in the beginning or Minjoo keeping her company by hanging out by the fountain together while waiting for Hitomi's last class to end.

When Minjoo convinced her to join the photography club, it went uphill rom there. They would spend two hours together for club activities, leading Minjoo to offer to walk her home once their club had ended, stopping at a nearby convenience store to grab some ice cream from the freezer. That afternoon was the first time Minjoo held her hand and she remembered how shy she was about it, her cheeks turned a bright red, yet she blamed it on the cold air. Chaewon teased her non-stop.

It was in the middle of club activites when Chaewon realized she had feelings for Minjoo. They were paired up to do a music video project and Minjoo insisted their video should be taken in the school's garden. She grabbed Chaewon's hand, running out of the classroom with a camera dangling from her neck, giggling like two high school lovers.

Serious about the project, Minjoo gave Chaewon exact instructions of how the video should be taken. She crouched down to the flowers, bringing her face closer to them before turning back to the camera with a bright smile. Chaewon could feel her cheeks heating up involuntarily, her throat going dry. The next scene was in the gazebo. She leaned forward on the railings, staring directly at Chaewon this time instead of the camera.

Flustered, she quickly looked down at the view on the screen to the camera. "W-Why are you looking at me instead of the camera, you idiot?" Chaewon stuttered.

"Because I like you." Minjoo replied, a shy smile making its way to her lips. Hearing that, the butterflies in her stomach went crazy.

The following day at club was Chaewon's turn to be recorded, yet with Minjoo staring at her intently from behind the camera wearing a white dress, she couldn't seem to focus on anything. It didn't take long for Minjoo to take note of the girl's weird state and asked if she wanted to take a break for a while, which Chaewon agreed to, saying she thought having a break would be best.

They sat at the picnic table in the middle of the school's garden in complete silence until Minjoo spoke up, asking if she wanted to reschedule their filming for the weekend seeing as their video project wasn't due until Monday. Chaewon shook her head. She wanted to complete it today to avoid having to waste their time over the weekend because of her, soon apologizing for having a lot on her mind at the moment, promising she wouldn't let it get in the way of filming. Resting her cheek on the palm of her hand, Minjoo asked if the older girl wanted to talk about it, but Chaewon dismissed it, calling it stupid, it wasn't worth mentioning.

Minjoo continued to push on with the subject, telling her anything she was concerned about was never stupid and she was always there to listen to her worries. Chaewon sighed heavily and asked what Minjoo meant yesterday while they were filming. Confused, Minjoo questioned on what she meant.

"About the... 'Because I like you' comment." Chaewon pointed out.

Rubbing the back of her neck out of embarrassment, Minjoo hummed. "Well... I do like you in a more than friend kind of way. I felt this way for a while, but I didn't want to mention anything in case it ruined our friendship." Her sentence started off confident, ending in a shy mumble after Chaewon turned to face her when she started speaking.

A shy smile crept on Chaewon's face, swinging her legs towards the inside of the picnic table. She wrapped her arms around Minjoo's, her hand trailing down her arm until their hands met, fitting perfectly into the other's like a missing puzzle piece.

Intertwining their fingers, Chaewon glanced up at the blushing girl sitting next to her. "Maybe I like you too, you giant nerd."

That was the day they began dating.

Chaewon concluded her story by leaning back in the library chair with blushing cheeks. "You know, Hii-chan, I think I might be in love with Minjoo. Whenever I'm around her, my heart goes crazy like it's going to leap out of my chest at any minute, my palms get sweaty, I read our old text messages when I miss her, I think about the next time I'll be able to see her, even if I seen her an hour ago. She makes me happy."

Hitomi couldn't find it in herself to show any negative emotion with her best friend confessing the love she had for her girlfriend. Instead, she faked a smile, nodding her head supportively. "I'm so glad you found someone that treats you well and cares about you, Chae. You deserve it."

Chaewon quickly waves her hand to dismiss their conversation about her girlfriend. "Enough about that! We need to get back to studying if we want to have a chance at passing our exams."

Hitomi lets her gaze linger a bit longer while Chaewon immediately foes back to reading the page she left off on.

-

Later the same night, Hitomi was sitting in her bed wrapped in a warm fluffy blanket watching a random movie when she began to cough. She put a hand up to her mouth, brown eyes never leaving the television screen for one second. Feeling something in the palm of her hand, she looked down to see striped carnation petals. She wiped her hand on her blanket and grabbed her phone from the bedside table.

Her fingers made its way across the phone keyboard as she typed in the question she wanted to ask: Why am I coughing up flower petals?

Clicking on the first search result, she got the answer to her question – Hanahaki Disease. It was a disease in which the victim would cough up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.

She quickly sent a text message to Nako, telling the smaller girl there was something she wanted to tell her at work tomorrow and tossed her cell phone towards the bottom of her bed, turning around to look over at the photo of her and Chaewon on the table beside her bed. The girls were holding up peace signs with their fingers, bright smiles on their faces.

When she was young, her parents always told her the person she loved would love her back just as much. They were wrong.

=

When Hitomi was fifteen, she realized she was in love with her best friend who could never love her back.

=

When Hitomi was sixteen, it got much worse.

It was a typical warm busy spring day in the flower shop with the two teenagers barely having any free time to sit down to have their break, opting to work straight through it for them to get all of the orders shipped out on time. As usual, Chaewon stopped by with two bags of food from the bakery for them with Minjoo in tow. The couple waited patiently on the side for their turn, intertwined hands by their side, laughing at whatever Chaewon had said.

Feeling the usual pressure in her throat, Hitomi excused herself from the counter for a moment, quickly running to the bathroom and managing to fully close the door behind her before throwing up flower petals on the floor. She ran a hand through her sweaty brunette colored hair and sighed, looking down at the flower petals beneath her shoes.

This time, the striped carnation petals were covered with small droplets of blood, yet Hitomi wasn't surprised. For the past few days, she hasn't been feeling well. There were many times where she skipped meals due to not having an appetite along with there being times where she found breathing to be more difficult compared to last year when she found out about the disease. Maybe she found the reason. Maybe she was getting worse.

She cleaned up the petals to the best of her ability, flushing them down the toilet and washing her hands. When she returned to the counter to handle her half of the customers, Nako glanced over worriedly.

-

Later in the afternoon, she felt much worse then she had during her morning shift at work. The coughing has become more consistent, there were more flower petals each time than the last, there was blood on her hands following every cough, wheezing and gasping for air soon afterwards. She would be lying if she said she wasn't terrified. Hell, was she going to die like this?

Grabbing her phone from the side of the bed, she typed a message to Nako with shaky hands, hitting the send button quickly.

[To: Nako]  
Can you come over if you aren't busy? I'm not feeling too good.

Within a second, she got a reply.

[From: Nako]  
Never busy when it comes to you. Be there in 10!

-

Nako sat on the side of the bed with Hitomi, rubbing her back gently as she threw up more flowers, completely covering the floor beneath their feet. The wooden floor once a light brown in color was now covered in striped flower petals and blood.

Hitomi began to wheeze after throwing up, soon sending herself into a violent coughing fit, sending flower petals soaring through the air.

"Breathe through your nose, Hii. You can do it." Nako spoke calmly to the pale girl, matching her breathing with her friend's. Hitomi did as she was told, inhaling deeply thought her nose, following Nako's intructions to normalize her breathing.

Once the coughing fit has settled down, Nako passed Hitomi a bottle of water, not forgetting to rub her cheek softly with her knuckles.

"Thank you." Hitomi took a sip of water, passing the water bottle back to the smaller girl. She leaned her head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling, letting a small sigh escape her lips. Her older sister gave her the talk about how love was going to be one of the most difficult things she faced when she got into high school, however she didn't expect to be sixteen-years-old and throwing up flower petals because the person she was in love with loved someone else.

"How are you feeling?" Nako asked cautiously.

"Honestly I feel like absolute shit. I'm throwing up more petals, there's even more blood on these damn petals. Hell, there's even blood not on the petals and I'm finding it harder to breathe with every single passing day." Hitomi rambled, not a hint of any emotion evident in her voice. "I'm okay." She added in fairly quickly.

Nako explains she did some research on her own a few days prior and she found out there's a way to get rid of the flowers suffocating her lungs. The only way to remove the flowers from a person's lungs was by surgery, not forgetting to include how there's a surgeon a few towns over who will do it for her. Hitomi turns her head to look at her friend, asking what would happen if the surgeon removes the flowers from her lungs.

Nako bit down on her bottom lip softly. "One thing for sure is you'll love all your romantic feelings for Chaewon and you can never love her again. The other thing the surgeon wasn't one-hundred percent sure of is whether you'll lose all your memories of that person or not, he said it depends on the person." She took a cautious glance over at Hitomi who was still staring at her.

"No."

"Hii, it would be a good idea."

"I'm not having the surgery done."

"At least think about it. You won't be coughing up flower petals anymore, there won't be blood. You will finally be able to breathe normally again."

"Please stop talking."

"This would be great for you."

"Please just stop already!" Hitomi begged with tears streaming down her face. "I don't mind it. I don't mind dying." She confessed, her voice cracking at the end of her sentence.

Nako patted her friend's head softly. "Hitomi, you don't really mean that. You have your whole entire life ahead of you." This time, she was more careful with her choice of words, taking note of how the other girl reacted every time she spoke.

"Chaewon has been a big part of my life ever since I was eight-years-old. From the time we met, we have done everything together, shared every worry and concern we had each other, laughed and joked around about anything we could think of. I have been on the top of the world from that day onward, that girl gives me feelings I thought I would never experience in my life and having the chance to experience it now... I don't want to get rid of them." Hitomi wiped the tears on the back of her hand and shakily sighed.

"Are you sure you want to do this? It's going to get worse."

Hitomi nodded weakly. "I love Chaewon. I never regretted a single moment with her nor do I regret falling in love with her." For the first time, she confessed out loud her true feelings for her best friend.

"It's okay." Hitomi whispered, but this time Nako knew she was trying to convince herself rather than anyone else.

=

When Hitomi was seventeen, she reached the final stage of the disease.

Chaewon had been trying to get Hitomi to hang out with her for over a year. Hitomi kept making up lame excuses at first as to why she couldn't before she settled with giving her only one excuse – She was sick and couldn't make it.

Technically, it wasn't an excuse. She was sick, too sick to function even, but she didn't want Chaewon to see her in such a state and blame herself. It wouldn't be fair to Chaewon for her to blame herself and apologize for being happy, for being in love, for being with someone who makes her feel on top of the world and like a thousand of butterflies are swarming around in her stomach.

Chaewon deserved it. She deserved to be happy, to stay happy.

-

Nako wrapped her arms securely around Hitomi's fragile frame as she choked and coughed. Even though flower petals exploded out of her throat like a volcano erupting, it was never enough. Her lungs were too full.

Hitomi balled her fists against Nako's shirt. "Thank you for everything." She wheezed between coughs.

"You don't need to thank me for anything, Hii." Nako rocked back and forth to soothe the older girl laying in her arms.

"For being my friend. For keeping me company when I was alone. For staying by my side through this whole mess until the end."

Hearing the words 'the end' come out of her friend's mouth brought tears to her eyes. She bit down hard on her bottom lip to contain the sobs, nodding against Hitomi's head to show she's listening to every word she's telling her.

"Tell Chaewon I love her."

Nako wanted nothing more than to tell her she could tell Chaewon herself. She wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, she was going to be perfectly fine, but they would both know all of those things were lies.

"Nako... It hurts." Hitomi whined, her grip on the front of Nako's shirt getting more firm. The petals erupting from her lungs were giving her no space to breathe properly, her vision slowly becoming blurry.

The grip on Nako's shirt became loose, arms limp at her sides.

Hitomi was no longer in pain. She found her peace.

=

When Hitomi was seventeen, she died in the spring.

**Author's Note:**

> To the one person who was excited about me writing another ssambbang fic,,, I am so sorry it had to be this
> 
> Flower meanings:  
Sunflowers: Adoration, happiness, loyalty and longevity.  
Daisies: Innocence and purity  
Blue Primroses: Youth  
Yellow daffodils: New beginnings  
Gladiolus: Strength  
Striped Carnations: Regret that a love cannot be shared.
> 
> If the story seems confusing with nearly any dialogue, this was written with the thought of the dialogue being considered Hitomi's memories.


End file.
